I have always thought maybe I am strange in the fact that I always disliked compliments when many around me enjoy them, and some do things strictly to get compliments and praise.
But as I journeyed along this life voyage, I realized I was not alone after all. There is quite a bunch of us who reject compliments. Not that compliments are completely wrong, but it gets weird when you get complimented for doing something you have to do, or something you have set to do anyway.
For example, some enjoy getting complimented for taking care of their families, some men require the compliment because they 'babysit' their kids, others want compliments for having bought new items, which they liked, etc.
All these are some of the strange reasons people who like compliments desire to be complimented for. And these do not warrant any compliments. It's like wanting to be complimented for brushing your teeth this morning.
Personally, I do things because it is my moral duty to do them, I do things because of my own subjective fulfillment, and engage in activities because I like them. I do it for me, and therefore, why should I be complimented for that? Or why should I strive to get compliments and frown for not getting any?
Here are a few reasons why some of us are poor in receiving compliments:
Embarrassment I feel embarrassed because I do not expect or want compliments and I do not know what to say or do when I get them. This creates a socially awkward moment, and not know how to react which is not a situation I want to be in, it's unnecessary.
Obligation When someone does something for you, you cannot help but feel obligated to reciprocate the compliment. Now you have to try to work your mind to look for something to compliment them on as well. Even if it is not at that moment, that type of obligation visits you whenever you meet that individual, now you have to say, nice dress just so you reciprocate. That sucks.
Disingenuity A majority of the social compliments are inherently fake and manipulative. Some people tend to use compliments as a form of befriending you or getting some sort of favour from you. Compliments can be used as a tool of manipulation and deception. And it can be difficult to decipher the real intent of the compliment received. Hence those like me, reject them most of the time.
These are some of the reasons people reject compliments, and they normally work against those who seek them. Those who seek compliments and praise easily fall prey to the obligations, deceptions, and manipulation that can be carried by disingenuous compliments.
Moreover, we do things because they serve our personal fulfillment and are our moral duty to do so. To expect to be complimented for doing such is neither to be encouraged nor praised.
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