Many have been unconsciously programmed to the flawed idea that things or people are what can bring them happiness. They chase after happiness; looking for it out there in the world. Hence we often hear the same answer to the question "What do you want in life?" The common response is: I want to be happy.
This is caused by the belief that external factors, including other people, bring happiness into our lives.
We see people getting into romantic relationships because they "want to be happy", they demand their partners to make them happy.
Others get obsessed with the attainment of material possessions with the belief that they will make them happy.
But, what many of these individuals cannot comprehend is that they chase after happiness by seeking pleasure.
To be in love brings a pleasurable emotion, and so is acquiring an object or a material you like.
People use these pleasure experiences as happiness when in fact these are mere short-lived experiences of pleasure. They result in the continuous search for this so-called happiness as they never get content and satisfied because they chase after this pleasurable feeling instead of actually being HAPPY.
Happiness is not something you need to seek and be on a quest for but it is something you can curate and design for yourself by yourself.
Once you understand this, you will no longer utter unreasonable statements to your partner such as "You do not make me happy" for example.
Only you can make yourself happy by truly defining what happiness is and what it means specifically to you. Not what the world defines it as.
In all honesty, we can live our lives happily irrespective of what and how our lives are.
One hack to design your happiness is to be grateful. This is the most obvious and effective virtue yet many fail to utilise it. When you wake up be grateful for all the things you have. Do this throughout your whole day, especially acknowledging and appreciating the people you have whom you love and who love you. That can bring unending emotions of happiness rather than the emotions of pleasure that many seek.
You can design your own happiness that fits you and your individual needs. All it takes is knowing that chasing after happiness is a race you will never win.
It is understanding that the acquisition of worldly things will not yield long-term happiness.
It is knowing that demanding others to make you happy will make you miserable instead.
It is acknowledging the fact that happiness comes from within rather than externally.
Therefore, the only way to achieve true happiness is to refrain from chasing it and start designing it.
All the things that the world has falsely taught us that they bring happiness are all a fallacy. They are things that only bring short-lived pleasure, with no true happiness. The outcome of such is the unending chase of these feelings of pleasure which are dubbed as happiness which can only bring more desire and misery in one's failure in attaining them.
So, in our quest to live the lives we dream of, it ought to come with a great understanding that seeking happiness in things and people does not result in true happiness. One can eventually live the life they've dreamt of and still be unhappy.
Therefore, define, design, and curate your own happiness, and see yourself attaining true happiness rather than trying to buy it.
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