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Writer's pictureNjabulo Mabanga

Why Are People Becoming Miserable As They Grow?




There are many potential reasons why people are becoming more unhappy as time goes on, including the constant comparison trap, the rat race, the pressure to be perfect, and the stress of modern life.


The main problem is that people tend to have unrealistic expectations of their future, or they unreasonably set unachievable goals for themselves from early on in their lives.


As life progresses they realise they might not be able to reach all the goals they had set for themselves.


There is no goal that is unachievable, the drawback is that a majority of people are not willing to put in all the work required to achieve their set goals. In most cases as people, we tend to underestimate the amount of work required to achieve certain results and the things we desire. We just think and ignorantly believe we will have everything we desire without considering the factors needed to make all our desired goals and results a reality.


Therefore as we grow, reality kicks in; that in fact - the life I had envisioned I would've been living twenty years ago seems to be a fallacy, it may never happen. That realization then forms the feelings of angst and sadness.


This is then fueled by the comparison trap. People compare themselves to their peers, their former school mates, their colleagues, their neighbors and their age mates. If it seems all those seem to be living far much better lives than themselves, the feelings of resentment and angst builds up as they feel they are failing.


That is why many people hide their age. People who hide their age are not proud of where they are in life, and feel as though others will judge them. Not realizing the fact that how their life is or where they are in their lives is purely a result of their own decisions and actions. Decisions and actions they took from when they were teenagers.


Someone may raise the issue of the socio-economical negative conditions of black people from history, and the dysfunctional family dynamics as a cause for why they are miserable. Irrespective of that, the first step to change is for one to take accountability of their own lives and stop being a victim of situations they had no control over.


The fact is - How's ones life turns out to be is a compound of all the choices and actions they took from their younger selves throughout their whole lives.


The solution to stop feeling miserable as you grow is to accept reality as it is, refrain from comparing your life to others, take account of your own life, and the willingness in finding solutions and means to shape your life to take form of how you want it to be.

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