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Writer's pictureNjabulo Mabanga

The Power of Being Mysterious Amid Attention Seekers


In a world with full of people trying to be known and seeking as much attention as possible, many tend to overly share about themselves. We see this daily on social media platforms where we see people who share everything they do and whatever happens in their lives.


Such individuals invite so many people into their lives to a point where the people whom all these things are shared to begin forming definitive perceptions about them, and eventually view them as nuisance attention seekers. And when you reach that point, little to no one will afford you any form of respect and endearment as you are viewed as being desperate for attention.


Contrary to what attention seekers do, those who remain mysterious tend to be the ones who earn the respect and endearment that the attention seekers desperately chase after.


Staying mysterious will always have a formidable and powerful effect on those you associate with. There is of course, a negative mystery that can chase people away from you but here I am referring to a carefully curated mystery that you can form to garner the relationships you desire, earn the respect you need, and have an influence in your social space and your society at large.


Generally, many people easily get attracted to those who are seen as mysterious because human beings are naturally curious. Because they know so less about you, their imagination forms certain perceptions about you, and they will surely want to get close to you to determine whether their imagined perceptions are correct or not.


The more dynamic and curious you seem, the more people will want to hang out with you to learn more. When you allow people’s imaginations to fill in the gaps about you, they’ll be drawn in to see if their assumptions prove to be correct.


Here's an example. Remember during the heyday of radio? There was no social media and no camera phones. You would know a radio DJ only by their voice without knowing how they look. We could all listen to the same radio program and yet all have different versions of how the person speaking looks like. That was in fact, what made radio to be such a powerful medium back then. There was a mystery about the radio presenters. Hence radio was called the theatre of the mind.


We all got drawn and attached to our favourite radio DJs without knowing how they looked like. We only knew them through what they sounded like. That mystery is what made these people so powerful back then. This is purely human nature, the more mysterious a subject or object is, the more curious we get and desire to know more about it.


The same applies to our daily human interactions with one another.


Here are a few scenarios indicating how you can be a little bit more mysterious:


  • To be more mysterious, you need to stay cool and calm in any situation. For example, attention seekers and animated people will always be loud and want to be the centre of attention. But when you are cool and calm, even when confronted, you win as that creates mystery in other's minds as they would normally expect a confronted person to react the same way the confronter does.


  • Another means to be more mysterious is to be an expert at something and yet never talk or boast about it. When people get to know you without knowing what you do, it is okay and you get along nicely. But after they realize that 'Oh, you are an attorney' they will begin being curious about you. As you would know, most people with big titles always brag about them whenever and wherever they are. Be the opposite of that.


  • The most important one is to keep many things to yourself. There are basic things to be shared, yet there are basic things not to be shared. For example, a colleague can ask you about how your weekend, and your response can be "I went to Cape Town", and leave it there. Don't give any more details about that trip.


These are just a few examples of how you can create that powerful mystery about you by letting those around you fill in the gaps about you and let their imagination be at play.


People generally do not like overly forward individuals who always talk about themselves, and want everyone to know about what they do, who they are, and who they know. Keeping calm, not boasting about your possessions (even when you can), not oversharing, and being unpredictable will always have people curious about you. And those who are genuinely curious will get close to you to learn more and thus you can form genuine real relationships and associations.


Human beings are curious creatures, if they see something of interest to them, they will be more attentive to it, including being attracted to a little mystery. And that is where the power of being mysterious can benefit you.


You can attract genuine friendships, attractive genuine business associations, earn more respect from those around you - be it colleagues or friends, and you can also attract a genuine romantic partner.


Being known to the full and being predictable is boring. Give people a chance to engage their imagination about you. Once they do, that would essentially be an indication of how powerful mystery is to people.


Be like radio, be a theatre of the mind, and see how powerful that is amid the many attention seekers we live amongst.

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