Throughout history, human beings have always experienced suffering, in different ways, shapes or forms. Some even to go a point where they define the meaning of life as suffering. I can be sure that somehow you have experienced some form of suffering in your life, if you have not, brace yourself, it will come someday.
In the midst of our individual phases of suffering, we tend to automatically meet people who experience the same forms of sufferings, which are people we easily get drawn to without even our conscious awareness of it, which therefore becomes a collective experience of what we are going through as a group.
When we go through some form of shared collective experiences, including suffering, a norm or culture gets to be created by that group or community. That is where the dangers of mutual suffering I am speaking of come to light.
Having to share the same life experiences with many others creates a sense of normality for the kind of life we may be living at that time, even when it was supposed to just be a passing phase for some individuals. Once that experience feels like a social norm, that phase which one was to be passing through, likely becomes a state of life that one gets content with and becomes an experience that may easily last a lifetime.
Remember when you were in school when you did not do your homework? You would ask your classmate friends if they also did the homework or not, if it happens they also did not, there's a huge feeling of relieve that comes with knowing that you are not alone in this experience, therefore even the potential punishment that comes with your failure to do your schoolwork, doesn't seem so bad anymore. (I know you know very well what I am speaking of here).
That same feeling you had, is the same feeling you get and get accustomed to in life as an adult when you experience feelings of suffering along with your friends or acquaintances. This applies to everyone, especially in a specific group or community. If I am living in poverty, or just below the poverty life, have a horrible relationship, in very bad health, etc, if the people around me experience the same forms of experiences (which I can define as suffering) - it subconsciously becomes some sort of a "normal life" to experience, thus leading me to be content and comfortable in that phase. Even when it was supposed to be a learning phase that which I was supposed to pass through.
That is the main danger of mutual suffering. I have personally seen this in various ways, and it is one of the primary factors that may hinder one's potential in acquiring or levelling up from the not so nice experiences they go through. Just because my friend or neighbour also has troubles in his relationships, also is drowning in debt, or also is dependent on other people, that alone would likely make me feel like that kind of a life is a "normal" life because I mean, everyone in my neighbourhood is going through the same things, so surely my life is not in a bad state. This is the kind of mentality that mutual suffering breeds.
Sometimes we remain in states of suffering because we share it with many of those around us. We must be cognisant of the experiences we go through, and those we make reference to who are going through the same things as that may be the primary barrier between you crossing over than line, or stay in it longer than you should be. Even worse, to stay in it for the rest of your life.
Be careful of mutual suffering - just because you go through the same experiences with others, it doesn't make it right, in fact; it likely works against you. There could easily be more and something way better to the experience you have become content with, there could easily be a simple way to pass through the phase you might be in, but by you looking at the lives of others around you and defining your successes or failures based on what they do - might keep you in a state of suffering for eternity.
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