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Writer's pictureNjabulo Mabanga

Stop Telling Your Friends Everything


The more we get close to the people around us, the more we get comfortable around them, and that leads to self-disclosure - which is a pivotal element in forming strong and trustworthy relationships.


But at times we tend to disclose and trust too much of those we are acquainted with, which can be to our detriment.


I do not have to explain a lot, you might've seen or heard a story of someone who was betrayed by a person whom they thought they were their "friend". Such stories are endless, and they happen every day.


To avoid experiencing such, you need to refrain from telling your 'friends' everything. I place the word friends in apostrophe because some of those you think are your friends aren't. Or they might've started as genuine friends but they eventually either envied or resented you.


Now would they resent you? Or be envious of you?


Because people generally live by comparability with those around them. They judge their lives' success or lack of accomplishments by comparing themselves to those close to them. (I have written about the dilemma of social relativity, you can read further).


If you are in a friendship where you are perceived as being the more accomplished or achieved, it's only a matter of time before the friends that perceive you as such start envying you, and eventually resenting you, but we hope the latter never happens. But envy is always there.


When I speak of being perceived as accomplished, I do not only refer to material possessions or tangible objects. Your perceived accomplishment may be your healthy relationship with your partner, your relationship with your child, your closeness with your parents, your type of profession, and at times, your overall character.


Those who lack in these will eventually envy you. You may have nothing of material or monetary value but still invite envy and resentment from those close to you.


A friend can become a foe at any moment.


When people compare themselves to others, they want what others have. If they cannot attain that, they resent those who have. They become what we call a hater. Therefore, you may have a hater in your circle of friends, you just may not know it...yet.


To safeguard yourself, refrain from telling your friends everything as you may be disclosing things to a friend who resents you.


Even when you think you aren't doing as great, you may be doing great at an aspect of life others wish they could. Hence, you have to keep some of your things private. No matter how you feel towards your friend(s), certain things in your life are to be privy only to your loved ones.


This is not to say do not trust others, and be surreptions with everything you do. It is to say be wary that those around you can, or may have already become a foe unbeknownst to you.


You ought to choose what to share and what not to share with your friends. Stop telling your friends everything, you may not only be saving yourself from heartache and disappointment but also be saving yourself from potential death that can be brought upon you by your 'friend'.


Resentment as a result of envy and failure to attain what one desires can push them into doing things they never thought they could. Therefore be wary of those in close proximity to you.


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